Fly on the Wall

"MOMMY!!"

"What, my love."

"Mommy."

"What?"

"Mommieeeee."

"What?"

"MOM."

"What do you want?"

"Mommy."*

Repeat.

All.
Day.
Long.

*Translators note:
Mommy--noun. Informal: Mother
Mommy--transitive verb. to pick up or hold

Peacegiving

Amanda looked at me wide-eyed yesterday while we were playing cards,

"What's gotten into you, Kim?"



"What?"
I retorted back, slightly confused.

"You're so giggly!"

Jer says he misses me being like this- says it's how I was when we met. I guess I'm no fun when "life" happens. Recently, for the first time in 3 years, things seem settled. Money is still tight, but not headache worthy anymore, waitressing is easy now, starting school has been a lot easier than it was last semester, and Jer and Sam's health are great.

I feel like I can breathe!!

Also, after having been married for almost 4 years, we have our first Christmas Tree!

And who doesn't feel care-free when they have their Christmas Tree up?

The Only Shrimp I Love

We went to our last baby well check-up. Sam is in the 75th% for height, 75th% for head circumference and < 3rd% in weight at 19 lbs, 8 oz.

She also learned a new word today, "Owie." We'd signed it with her before, but she never knew what it meant. After two shots she quickly labled the spots on her legs as "oh-we-we."

Baby Book Entry 18-months

My baby is a year and a half. As time is going way too fast, I need to record everything I can think of so someday I can look back and...you know, read it again.



So, whether or not YOU find it interesting...


Sam is teasing me, hovering just under 20 lbs. Considering we're going to wait until she weighs 35 lbs to turn her to front facing in the car, I'm pretty sure I'll be taking her to her first day of Kindergarten with her looking out the rear window.


As far as her health goes, we have a new pediatrician and she is fantastic. She recently tested Samantha for cystic fibrosis and lead poisoning, but both came back negative. So, considering she hasn't had an episode since...forever...I honestly think it was some mold or something in the apartment.


Her sleeping habits are still leaving me frustrated and at my wits end. She takes a 60 minute nap in the middle of the day. When daddy watches her it stretches to a whopping 75 minutes- but not a minute more. It takes everything in me not to scowl at other moms who brag about their child's 4-hour daily nap or whine about how their child only napped for 2 hrs.


Gah, anyway, she goes to bed between 6:30 and 7 and sleeps for 12 hrs, so at least I get an evening break (which still includes a scream fest around 9pm, but the cuddling that ensues usually makes up for it)


Every time we have a physical therapy session, the therapist asks what my concerns for Samantha are- and every single time Samantha will do whatever it is that mention that very evening...

Ooo, that gives me an idea about nap lengths!

My mom has mentioned over the years how her favorite age is around 18 months, and I totally see why. She is such a darling little mimic! SO much fun and her personality (the side that doesn't involve screaming) is finally shining through. Note the wave at the beginning and arm crossing at the end:

We currently play the "grin and run away" game every time we call her or ask her to do something. It's cute except when she does it down the driveway. Fortunately her "running" is actually slower than her walking due to the numerous stops she has to make to catch her balance.

Her other semi-dangerous obsession is with putting things around her neck and head:

(Jer would like me to clarify that he doesn't actually wear the whitey tighties...which begs the question why keep them, but we won't go there)



Her current obsession with babies is almost...unhealthy. She still nurses them, rocks them, washes them, feeds them, lotions them, reads to them. If we decide to have a kid earlier than 'planned' it will be via begging from Samantha when she realizes that we are the ones who could give her a real baby.



One last thing- I've compiled a list of her vocabulary. A month ago it was at 50 words and now I'm pretty sure it's around 75.

Anyway, here it goes:

Verbal:
baby
ball
blues clues (booo!)
bonk (konk)
bubbles
butterfly (buhbuy)
bye (bye or buhbee)
car
cold (coah)
cracker (kah kah)
dada
ear
eye
hi (said to every stranger we pass by)
Joel (goal)
light (ie)
mama
papa
peek
poop
potty (pah-ee)
puppy (her blanket)
pumpkin (punk)
slide (sih)
swing (wing)
thank you (tey tey)
Tsss (Tess)
wait (weigh)
water (wa)
we (what she calls a swing set "Weeeee!")



Animal sounds
bird
car (ok, not an animal, but a sound)
cat
cow
dog
duck
elephant
fish
frog
horse
mouse
owl
pig

Signs
all done
apple
baby
ball
banana
bath
bib
bird
black
book
bread
bubbles
butterfly
bye
car
cat
cherrio
cold
cookie
cow
down
drink
duck
elephant
fish
flower
hammer
hat
help
hold you
horse
hot
hungry
ice cream
light
lotion
milk
more
movie
no
nurse
outside
phone
piano
pig
play
please
poop
potty
pumpkin
rabbit
red
saw
shoes
socks
stars
swing
thank you
toothbrush
wait
water
white
yes

Her 18 month appt is next week, so I'll post exact stats then.


And another scream fest has begun.

*Sigh*

Hard to Swallow

I always dread getting a new job. Not because of the training, learning curve or initial social struggles- those I can handle. Even the humility that I have to face with not knowing everything is tolerable. No, what I hate about new employment is the fact that I inevitably cry in front of my boss. Allow me to premise the following--I only cry when I'm frustrated.
That and watching a sappy movie, but that's not relevant here.

The crying episode generally goes something like this:

I work really hard to try and be proficient at said job (read, I do NOT like being anything but perfect at my job).

I, being only human, make errors, some which are horribly embarrassing.

I continue, only to make another error. Nothing big, just enough to annoy the boss/supervisor/other person near by.

I get frustrated and flustered.

Flustering results in more errors which leads to more frustration and more flustering and--well, it all ends up at the bottom with Jack and Jill.

And the only way out, it seems, is to cry. In front of my boss.

Anyway, where was I going with this?

Oh, yes. So today I wanted to cry. I felt like a miserable failure. But not as an employee- as a mother. I always pictured myself as this super-mom who cooked, cleaned and laundered, caring for the children with patience and ease learned via years of nannying experience.

I'm coming to realize that I don't know who I am as a mother. My child whines and screams most of the day, making me want to claw at the wall and scream back at her. Instead of cleaning I steal a nap during my 30-60 minute "break" during the day while she power-sleeps. Looking around the house I notice the floor is relatively clear, but every other surface is cluttered. I literally count down the time until either Jeremy comes home or 6pm comes (bedtime). Honestly, I have more patience and fun with my child when I come home from working all day at my paying job.

I'm doing my best not to compare myself with other mothers, but I can't help but noticing that I only have ONE CHILD. And I want more. Lots more. But I don't know if that's the mom I want to be or the one I am.

Either way, today I was very frustrated and flustered.

Take a wild guess at what came next.

Pumpkin Patch

Celebrating Lucy's 7th Birthday!

The Cousins really get excited to see each other now! They're at such a fun age.


Signing "pig"

And "bunny" (her bunnies only have one ear)

Getting to know Uncle Joel (she calls him "khhhh")

OOO! I actually took this one!!

Lovely Becca, soon to make me an aunt again!

Kisses on the bridge

Peek!