Baby Rose

On Monday I have a D&C scheduled to allow baby Rose to be buried.  She was really small, but oh so loved.  Samantha wanted to name her "Flower" but we didn't quite think that was appropriate, since we wouldn't name any children that made it to birth "Flower."

So we suggested "Rose" and it seemed right.  

It's been a rough 2 weeks and a roller-coaster of emotions.  The biggest right now is financial.  It just never seems like we can get above treading water.  No matter how hard we try.  My birthday present was going to be paying off our smallest loan.  But now we'll be paying for surgery.  Every day I pray that our 13-year-old cars can hold it together for a few more years.  Even when we try and save up for a "new" used car, some stupid medical bill just throws us back thousands of dollars.  I know I should be grateful that we have private insurance.  And that we can pay our bills.  Eight years into a long list of very expensive medical problems and we've always been able to pay off everything with in a few months.  But it's those stupid student loans that keep us tied at the neck.  That keep forcing us both to work our tails off and make a "sick-day" so expensive and exhausting.  We're 2 weeks away from a much more affordable insurance and we'll be maxing out our deductible and co-insurance of the horribly expensive and high-deductible insurance this week.

We just. can't. win.  

Anyway.

Now we have two babies in heaven and two on earth.  Eddy and Rose, you've got a lot of work to do while we wait to meet you!  Pray for us, babies, PRAY!