Eating Woes

I should totally be working right now but I need to complain vent.  I know I'm sooooo blessed that adding wheat back into my diet was a success.  It brought our food "budget" back down to the normal range. I was really hoping to be able to add back in one more food.  I've currently been off dairy, beef, soy, corn, egg and nuts since November.  I really wish I didn't like eating so much.  And it doesn't help that I have to do it all. the. time.  And it's what Americans to do celebrate everything.  I chose to be anti-social during Catholic schools week simply because it was too hard to be around all that food that I can't have.  I'm fine if I'm not around it.  But the stress of it gets to me when  there are amazing desserts and delicious meals being passed around.  I wish I was stronger or a better person but I'm not.  And I get resentful when I see others enjoying the food and then I have to explain myself.  Because if I don't they think I'm on a diet for weigh-losing purposes.  Or they've never met someone whose baby is MSPI and has tons of questions.  Which I'm happy to answer, just not while you're stuffing your mouth with stuff I really would like to gorge on. 

And then there's the whole sharing end of things.  Healthy junk food is delicious, people.  And everyone else wants it too.  The problem is 1)I'm the only one who makes it and the time I have to do so it rare and 2) coconut oil, flax meal and other essential ingredients are EXPENSIVE.  So I break down and cry when the teenager in the house eats my dessert for breakfast (because they are fast and "have sugar, so it's a good breakfast"- seriously, where does he get these ideas from?!-) or eats my hummus and pepperoni pizza for breakfast (because it was something "new" that Jeremy had made..."new" as in he'd not noticed the 50 other times Jeremy had made it for me).  Or the four-year-old who wants to eat MY chocolate covered pretzles because the ice cream and candy she has aren't good enough.  And that just comes off as being selfish.  But is it?  I'm really limited on what I can eat, does that mean I have to give what I'm eating away because it's a novelty to those who can eat everything else in the house?  I'm so conflicted.  There's sacrificing, and then there's survival.  That's a really hard ballance.

Anyway, I tried soy this weekend and it was a bust.  Face/butt rash, fussiness, poops- the whole shibang.  Of course it could be partially due to the second tooth, but if that's the case, I just need to lay off trying new foods while she's already miserable.

We're thinking of trying beef next.  But I'm not sure when.