About Me

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Nebraska, United States
A would-be stay at home mom working full-time as a teacher. I teach at my old Highschool, working side-by-side with my own teachers. I blog to keep the Texan grandparents updated and chronicle our life for future reference. (In other words, I don't have a real baby-book or diary.) Comments make my day. Thanks for stopping by! kimlepper at gmail.com

Thursday, August 12, 2010

A Day in Which I Decide to Wean

Oh, what a day.

I knew I was asking for it, announcing it on the internet and everything.

Sam was up a lot last night and woke up and

can you guess??

She puked.

I don't know if it was the dairy I tried 48 hrs earlier (the time it usually takes to get a reaction from her) or the bug that's been going around her friends and papa or just the change in the wind--I'm tired of guessing and feeling horribly guilty for something as simple as a bowl of ice cream.

The decision is not an easy one. I wanted to go as long as Sam wanted to, or at least 18 months for the health benefits. I enjoy it, Sam enjoys it, and I will miss it. I was trying to explain to Jeremy the connection I'll be losing,

"It would be like if we could never hold hands again. Yes, we could kiss and hug and such- but no hand holding--you'd miss that connection, right?"

I feel very selfish for wanting to stop, but as my mom said (with a hearty laugh),

"Selfish? Kim, she has not been a typical nursing baby! She's had the food allergies, a hard time gaining weight, needed physical therapy, had the puking episodes, colic-- I'd say you've done very well!"

I still feel selfish, as all those reasons are reasons to keep nursing too.

But I'm just so exhausted.

And it was one thing when we were living just the three of us and the whole family was basically on my diet. But now there are five other people constantly eating/cooking/baking/ordering stuff I can't have. The simple thing of putting my butter on the food made for dinner keeps slipping people's minds and I end up having to make my own dinner at the last minute. --even if what IS for dinner is in itself dairy free. I've just started crying when everyone is called for dinner and when I ask if my butter was used I'd get,

"Oh, sorry Kim--I totally forgot!"

She'll be 15 months next Wednesday. We're already down to 3 feedings a day, so I'll be cutting one out every 2 days and finish with a nice cuddly nursing the morning of the 18th.

Then let the celebrations begin!

(Lasagna, chocolate martini, ice cream, Cola Cake at work...)

And a preview to tomorrow's post...

When I called work to tell them my baby had been puking all day and just puked all over me again (3 hrs til my shift started) the response I got was,

"So, did she puke on your uniform? Is that why you can't come in?"


Melissa K. said...

wean away.

I give MAD PROPS to the woman who can look a difficult decision in the face, and with logical, well thought through reasoning, come to a conclusion that honors both her values and desires.

Your daughter is so lucky to have you. We shall enjoy ice cream together. We shall indeed.

Granddad said...

Jeremy's mom had a very difficult time giving up her "nursing time" with him...so we can empathize. On the other hand, we can assure you that it is a positive thing overall for both of you...and...with the next baby it is easier. For some reason, once they have an older sibling that is drinking out of a cup, they want to quit nursing sooner than the first....at least that's the way it went with our next two.

Tractor Mom said...

I weaned both of mine at around 15 months and they are both quite healthy! I think she'll be fine and you'll be able to eat without the guilt!

How dare your work say that!! Unbelieveable...wait, I do believe it! Money is all people worry about now a days!

Come by when you can....


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